Broke and Feeling Guilty

As moms, we desire to give everything we can to our kids. They need healthy food we make it, they need shoes we get it to them, whatever they need we try to get it for them. And isn’t it a great feeling when we do. It’s a beautiful thing to give them what they ask for. Sometimes its not even that they need it, they just want it and when we are able to provide it to them, oh it’s so wonderful!

But what happens when we can’t? What do we do when we are not able to provide to them things they want or worse things they need? And I’m not talking about not wanting to, I’m talking about not being able to. Or what happens, when you can’t give it to them, because you want to invest in yourself?

“Mom, when can we go to the store to get some long sleeve shirts, because it’s almost winter and I only have two.” That’s what my youngest child asked me as we were arriving to our house today.

Such an innocent question that felt like a hundred bricks were thrown at me. So many emotions, so many thoughts in my head, so many dead ends, so much frustration and so much guilt.

“What did I do?” “How did I get here?” “What am I doing?” “Will I ever be able to provide and give them what they need?” “Will I ever make it?” “I am doing the right thing?” “How much longer will it take?”

I am single mom of 2 boys. And while at this time I do work and make some money, its not enough. I am in so much debt. I live with my parents, because I wouldn’t be able to afford a home. I pay for a few bills that I have. For the longest time, I couldn’t even pay my phone or car insurance.

When I decided to become a single mom, this is not what I had in mind. This wasn’t what I wanted for myself or my kids.

I believed I was so smart and awesome that I was going to get money real fast, and I would be able to provide for my kids and give them everything they needed and wanted. When we moved to my parents house, I remembered I promised them it would only be for 3 months. But God has a funny way of showing his love. It’s been 1 year and 4 months and we are still here.

It hurts. It hurts when my kids ask me these questions, when they want something, and I am not able to give it to them. When they want to do something, and I am not able to take them. It hurts to realize where I am at. I am a single mom, without a steady income, living with my parents, not even being able to buy my kids clothes, or a bed (they share a bed even though both of them have a room).

But in the middle of my hurt, somehow I have hope. I know that God will provide for everything. I keep going every single day despite not knowing how tomorrow will turn out. I trust in the promise that He has made to me, that everything will be okay.

I receive money and after paying bills I’m left with a little bit of it and instead of paying off more debt or buying the things that my kids or I need, I use it to invest in myself. And sometimes I invest in myself before paying the bills. I go to conferences. I invest in programs, trainings, books. I tithe, something that I never did before.

There was once a time when my oldest son’s shoes were ripping and he didn’t tell me about it. He kept wearing them. When I asked him why he hadn’t told me he said that he was okay and didn’t need them. I know deep down he knew the struggle.

Things like this are in the center of my heart and prayers. God knows what we need. He knows us better than we know ourselves. I know God has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11). I invest in myself first because I don’t want to stay in this season of my life for a long time. A coach once told me, “Imagine you are a chicken and you have baby chicks and you are really hungry and food is scarce so you only eat 1 time each day. What are you going to do with the food? How would you distribute it?” I answered, “well I’d give it to my chicks.” She said, “you would need to feed yourself first and then your chicks.” It didn’t make sense to me. She explained, “You as the mother hen need your energy and need to be strong so that you can continue to get food for your chicks.” “If you feed your chicks first and you don’t eat, what do you think will happen to you?” “You will die and then who will take care of your chicks?”

This story is so true! That is why I invest in myself before buying my kids what they need. I know it sounds so unorthodox, so unlike a mother. I believe this is true. It doesn’t change the fact that it hurts and “feels” wrong. I know my kids need things and oh do they want things, but I know that if I don’t do this for me, then we will never get out of this rut. I need to do things that are different from what I have been doing. Every time I buy a program or join a conference those nagging thoughts of, “Your kids need clothes” or “You could be using this money to pay off what you owe”, or “You are getting yourself into more debt’, they all attack me. And it’s not fair, because it’s only me against all of them. Sometimes my body does something, while my mind is trying to stop it. But I know I need to try. I need to try to change my circumstances.

Something inside me keeps telling me to keep pushing that I am almost there. I had gotten a job a few months ago, but it felt like I needed to leave it. It served its purpose and sometimes my mind will try to make me belief that I am not moving forward, but I know I am.

I know I am going to make it. I know that soon I will be able to afford to take my kids on a shopping spree. One day I will be able to go out to eat and not worry that I will not be able to pay for a bill or how I will make it to the end of the month with $188.  I will be able to pay off all the debt I owe, and I be the one that lets others borrow.

I know that like me there are a lot of single moms out there, hustling and trying to make ends meet. That’s why I want to invite you to dream with me. Let’s imagine for a moment that we are where we believe that we need to be. Let’s imagine we have made it. We are making some MONEY!! We have more than enough for everything that we need and more. There is no more lack, only abundance. God has truly blessed us like He desires us to be blessed. We are able to tithe, invest and live on the rest. We are able to buy the clothes we want for us and for our kids. We are able to provide to our children whatever they need and want.

Stay in that dream for a few moments and notice how you feel. Notice how you are standing, notice your facial expressions, what you are doing, who you are with, the sounds and smells. Take notice of everything.

In my dream we are outside, the grass is green and there are palm trees. Its about 80-85 degrees. They are smiling. My oldest is wearing jean shorts, some converse shoes, an under shirt and a button up shirt over it (black with white palms) unbuttoned, and a black hat. He is wearing his Oakleys and smiling. My youngest wearing a skateboard shirt light blue with a darker design, wearing khaki shorts, jordans, and playing with a  puppy. I can hear their laughter. I am wearing black jeggings with a loose white shirt that drops down from one shoulder. I have big earrings and my hair picked up in a pony tail. I have my nails done and my toenails done, as well. I am wearing some nice sandals and have some bracelets on one hand. I am wearing makeup and carry a brand bag. I see how my kids are playing and feel so grateful. I feel so happy. I don’t live life rushing around. I am calm and I am able to enjoy the moment. There is no rush. No worry. Our needs and desires are met. I have a huge smile on my face. My heart feels full. I feel the sun hitting my face. It is morning. There is a huge house behind us like if we were on vacation. I feel wealth, I taste wealth, I see wealth, I smell wealth, and I hear wealth. It’s there. It’s in my future.

These dreams are what keep me going. This is what makes me get up in the morning when I don’t want to. This is what helps me get through these tough times when my sons need things that I cannot provide to them right now.

The only thing I can tell you is this; Don’t stop, keep pushing, keep dreaming. You are almost there! The journey to the promised land is hard, that’s why not everyone gets there! But you are different, you are unique, you are a woman of God, you are strength and are capable of achieving your dreams and so much more!

Blessings,

Until soon,

Aracely Chavez

Founder of Seven Streams CashFlow

Seven Streams CashFlow is more than a platform for wealth-building tools and youth entrepreneurship skills. It is a faith-driven movement and a thriving community where like-minded families grow, give, and build legacy together.

Seven Streams CashFlow was born out of a personal mission to rebuild life, finances, and legacy after divorce, not just for myself but with my two boys by my side. What started as a way to teach my kids about faith, money, and business turned into a powerful movement that equips families everywhere to do the same. Together we created more than a platform. We created a vision for the next generation.

Check out SevenStreamsCashFlow.com to find out who we are.