Finding love again

Isn’t it funny how when you are going through a divorce or any process in life, people are always wanting to give you advice on how or what you should do.

I’ve been “divorcing” (still in the process) for like 1 ½ years and people have been giving me advice as to what I should be doing now.

Get a job, find another man, don’t think about it, go out ect.

All this advice that you don’t asak for and yet they feel they need to share. But here’s the part that drives me crazy….It’s the fact that they haven’t gone through a divorce.

They have been with the person that they married and had kids with They haven’t experienced what it is to be going through the process of divorce. They might imagine it. They might have one day gotten upset at their spouse and left for a few days or one month, but divorce is another whole different thing.

And yet, here they are trying to give you advice. The one that really bothers me is “find love againg.”

It’s like the only thing that I am good for is to be a wife or be married.

I find myself trying to explain that I want to work on myself, build a business, and get my stability first before I decide to find another person.

They respond with, “being lonely is not good,” or “time flies and you need to hurry”.

I just end up saying, “yea huh, soon I’ll find one soon”.

I didn’t get divorced because I wanted a man. I left because I wanted to grow and I didn’t find the support I needed in the relationship. I have that part clear. This divorce is helping me find myself again and I don’t feel the urgency to find a man.

But I do have to add that even though I do believe and think that, those comments do end up having an influence in me.

Thoughts do flas before my mind that “maybe they are correct, maybe I do need to hurry and find a man”, “maybe I won’t be able to make it without one”.

In a recent conversation with my emotional coach I confessed that I did have that belief that you had to have a man to be able to make it, to be successful. I did believe that not having  a man meant that something was wrong with you. That you weren’t worthy of love, because  you were so independent.

Is that why I’m afraid to be successful? Is that why I keep self-sabotaging myself? I do want to have  man, just not know, am I afraid that if I become successful then I won’t find one, so I decide to play low and be submissive so that I can have a “better” chance of finding one?

These are the thoughts that those comments cause. Going through a divorce your whole world is like on a teeter-toter. Any idea, belief can have a big impact on which side goes up or down.

I try to play it off laughing and joking about it, but that just makes me feel worse at the end. I am hurting, I’m not ready.

I’ve played in my mind over and over what I want to reply with.. I want to tell them, “let me do what I have to do, let me heal, do you know how much it hurts, have you ever felt it?”

I know they don’t say it to harm me or make me feel pressured. They just don’t know.

The only thing I can do is not focus on what they say and keep working on what I have to work on.

I need to heal before I find me another man.

I will probably continue on hearing this comments from the people that surround me. The only thing I know to do now is not to take it personal and have my goals really clear. I know what I want for me and my kids, I gotta keep going.

 Blessings.

Until soon,

Aracely Chavez

Founder of Seven Streams CashFlow

Seven Streams CashFlow is more than a platform for wealth-building tools and youth entrepreneurship skills. It is a faith-driven movement and a thriving community where like-minded families grow, give, and build legacy together.

Seven Streams CashFlow was born out of a personal mission to rebuild life, finances, and legacy after divorce, not just for myself but with my two boys by my side. What started as a way to teach my kids about faith, money, and business turned into a powerful movement that equips families everywhere to do the same. Together we created more than a platform. We created a vision for the next generation.

Check out SevenStreamsCashFlow.com to find out who we are.