The truth is....I still feel angry!
I recently read a quote, though I can't remember who said it or what exactly it said. What I do remember is how it made me feel. It talked about the importance of being true to ourselves, and it triggered something inside me.
I’ve been a true believer and started my relationship with God not too long ago. In the Bible, there are many commands to love others, and I struggled with that. How could I love someone who hurt me? The idea that God also loves that person made me upset.
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It hurt, it stung, but I learned to accept it. I turned to gratefulness and God showed me the beautiful times I had with that person. The memories we created, the lessons I learned. After all, I became a mom to two wonderful boys, and I was blessed to stay home and take care of them while they were small.
I also learned how to be a wife. When I got married at 21, I didn’t even know how to cook! Over those 12 years, I grew a lot. God showed me all of this, and I thanked Him.
In my journey, the more I read the Bible, the more I wanted to change.
At the start of the divorce, I couldn’t even look at my kids' father without feeling hurt and having feelings that are not very kind. But as I grew in Christ, I eventually got to a place where I could see him face to face. I didn’t want to be his friend, or talk about anything beyond our kids, but at least I could say, "Hi."
It still hurt, and I had to bite my tongue, but at least I could be "nice."
When I read that quote and felt the trigger, I knew I had to bring this to my Father in heaven. My first thought was, I’m doing everything right:
God says to love one another — I’m trying.
Be nice — I’m trying to be nice.
Hold your tongue — I’m really, really trying.
Don’t be angry — I’m trying not to feel anger.
I was checking all the boxes. But as I sat there, trying to understand what I was feeling, it hit me.
Faith and religion are two different things, and it’s a fine line between them. While faith is about believing and trusting God, religion can make you feel like you have to check boxes to receive peace and joy from God.
All this time, I’ve been trying to hide my emotions because I thought I "should" feel a certain way. But the truth is... I still feel really angry!
My mind knows that God is my healer, and He is perfect in all His ways. I know He has plans for me and my kids, and He holds our future. I trust Him.
This isn’t the kind of anger that comes from fear; it’s just anger. I’ve been trying to be nice, trying to cover it up. But when I read that quote, it made me question who I’ve been trying to be instead of what I’m really feeling.
Truth is I’m not okay. I’m hurting. Two years have passed, and while I’ve experienced so much beauty and growth, I haven’t allowed myself to feel angry.
I’ve been asking God to help me not be angry, hiding it instead of embracing it. But I realize now that it’s okay to feel angry. I need to allow myself to feel it. Anger can be the fire that pushes me forward, if I allow it to rage and not focus so much as putting it out.
It’s okay to feel angry, but I can choose to use that anger for good. I can let it push me to not stay stuck. Let it fuel my journey to reach my full potential. Let it propel me into the future God has for me.
God doesn’t want me to be perfect and check off boxes. He wants me to be true to what I feel. Yes, I believe He’ll keep working on my heart, and one day, I won’t feel angry anymore. But for now, I get to feel angry—and I’m going to use it to my advantage.
If you’re experiencing something similar, know that it’s okay to feel every emotion. What matters is how we choose to use them.
Until soon,
Aracely
Founder of Seven Streams CashFlow
Seven Streams CashFlow is more than a platform for wealth-building tools and youth entrepreneurship skills. It is a faith-driven movement and a thriving community where like-minded families grow, give, and build legacy together.
Seven Streams CashFlow was born out of a personal mission to rebuild life, finances, and legacy after divorce, not just for myself but with my two boys by my side. What started as a way to teach my kids about faith, money, and business turned into a powerful movement that equips families everywhere to do the same. Together we created more than a platform. We created a vision for the next generation.
Check out SevenStreamsCashFlow.com to find out who we are.
