Sometimes, I just can't.

The other day, I walked into my younger son's room to kiss him goodnight. I gave him a kiss, said goodnight, and headed toward the door. As I was turning off the light, I noticed the deflated air mattress lying on the floor by the door. When we moved in, my mom had let me borrow that air mattress to sleep on, but less than two weeks later, it had ruptured. We folded it up, and for some reason, my son took it to his room.

Three months had passed, and we still hadn’t found the time to move it. The first thought that popped into my head was, “You used to have your house all neat and clean—what happened to you?” The second thought followed: “You’re not organizing your time right, which is why you don’t have time to clean up.” Then came the third thought: “You decided to get divorced, and now you have to do all this alone.” And the negative thoughts kept coming.

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The fourth thought, continuing the third, was: “You’re alone. Will you even find someone else?” And the inevitable one: “What kind of mother are you?” I was being bombarded with self-criticism, all within about 20 seconds.

I felt like a failure. I felt angry and sad. When was I going to get a break? I heard myself responding to these thoughts: “I have to be both parents. I have to work, clean, and cook. I have to grade papers, think of fun ideas, exercise, run a business, create content, and more. It’s not fair.” My mind dragged up other memories of when I’d “failed” as a mom. It reminded me that I still hadn’t been able to buy my kids a dresser for their clothes or that my son has to cover himself with throw blankets instead of the blanket he’s been wanting.

Doubts started echoing in my head: “Will I ever make it? Will the dreams and desires God placed in my heart ever come true, or did I imagine them?” I felt defenseless, like I was letting the enemy attack me. He knew where to strike and what hurt me most. When you go through a divorce involving children, you (or at least I did) want to provide everything so they don’t experience any dark valleys. You want to meet every need and fulfill every wish.

I want to have a beautiful house, complete with all the furniture my kids need. I want to see my son’s room decorated just the way he wants it. I want to have time to clean and do simple things, like move that air mattress out of his room. (Yes, he could take it out, and honestly, I’ll probably have him do it.) I want to cook healthy, delicious meals. I want to have a thriving business that pays all our bills. I want to take my kids on adventures. I want to do all these things and more, but sometimes, I just can’t.

As I walk through this season and learn to live on my own, I have to face reality. And reality is that I am doing this alone. And it sucks. This is not how I imagined raising my kids. This is not how it was supposed to be. But... this is how it is.

As my thoughts raced, I decided to do the only thing I could: surrender. I dropped my shoulders, let out a big sigh, and let it be. I couldn’t do more than I was already doing, and I didn’t want to. I simply said, “Sometimes, I just can’t.”

At that moment, I heard God ask, “Why do you feel like you need to be all those things? Who told you that you have to hold it all together?” I began reflecting on why I believed I had to be everything and do everything. Was it society? Was it because I had seen my mom cooking and cleaning all the time? When did I adopt these beliefs?

Why was I letting the enemy attack me like this? 

Jesus had brought me this far, and I had to trust He wouldn’t stop guiding me. He showed me all the things I was doing right—things that mattered far more than moving that air mattress out of the room. I found peace in giving myself permission not to be perfect. It was okay to let some chores wait another day. It was okay not to have control over everything around me. It was okay to leave that air mattress there for one more week.

I felt the pressure leave my body as I embraced this season. I was a good mom. My kids and I were together. They were safe, fed, had a roof over their head, and they were happy.

The enemy had no choice but to retreat as I allowed God to work in my heart.

This doesn’t mean the pain is gone. Maybe that will fade over time (or maybe that’s another limiting belief—I don’t know). But at least for now, I choose to embrace God’s grace. It’s a choice, because Jesus has already given it to us, but we can be so hard on ourselves. Every day we choose how we want to live.

We can live angry and sad about how unfair life is, wishing things were different. Or we can surrender everything to God, allowing His grace to pour into our hearts. We can let ourselves walk at our own pace. Sometimes, we’ll get everything done. Other times, we’ll just have to say, “Sometimes, I just can’t.”

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. — Hebrews 4:16 (NKJV)

Blessings,
Until soon

Aracely Chavez

Founder of Seven Streams CashFlow

Seven Streams CashFlow is more than a platform for wealth-building tools and youth entrepreneurship skills. It is a faith-driven movement and a thriving community where like-minded families grow, give, and build legacy together.

Seven Streams CashFlow was born out of a personal mission to rebuild life, finances, and legacy after divorce, not just for myself but with my two boys by my side. What started as a way to teach my kids about faith, money, and business turned into a powerful movement that equips families everywhere to do the same. Together we created more than a platform. We created a vision for the next generation.

Check out SevenStreamsCashFlow.com to find out who we are.